


Causality Loop

by lastincurableromantic



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Jack being Jack, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 05:48:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4613520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastincurableromantic/pseuds/lastincurableromantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor, Rose and Jack arrive on an alien planet in the far future, right before the beginning of a riot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The original version of this was written as a response to a writeworld prompt on tumblr. Since then I've significantly rewritten and revised it.

**Chapter One**

With its typical metal-on-metal wheezing and groaning, the time and space ship ripped through the barrier that separated the Time Vortex from the normal space of the universe. Seemingly out of nothing, it slowly appeared—at first ghostlike, then more and more solid until what appeared to be a tall, wooden blue box stood on the flat, gravelled roof of a tall building. There was a paneled door on one side; a sign over the door stated it to be a Police Public Call Box, while another, smaller one on the door itself gave instructions as to the box’s use, not the least of which was the fact that the door should be pulled to open. As the hole between reality and the Vortex healed itself, a light on the roof of the box flashed once, twice, three times, and the sounds heralding the box’s arrival faded.

The door of the Police Box opened—inward rather than outward—and Rose Tyler walked out onto the roof. She was a young, very pretty blonde woman from a 21st century South London council estate, and despite that she now considered herself a seasoned time traveler, she was still amazed every time she walked out the door to find herself somewhere different than she had been just moments earlier.

Rose was followed by an older man who called himself the Doctor. Although the Doctor appeared human, she knew he wasn’t, if for no other reason than the fact that the blue box he traveled in was actually a bigger-on-the-inside ship he called the TARDIS. That, and the fact that she had recently discovered he had two hearts. Rose couldn’t say which was odder, the fact that he was an alien from outer space but looked human and sounded like he was from Northern England, or the fact that he had a time machine. Probably the time machine, she decided, since with it he had taken her as far forwards as the day the Earth exploded and as far backwards as 1869 where they met Charles Dickens, and at Christmastime no less. After all, how many humans could do that?

When Rose saw where they had landed, she stopped and gaped at her surroundings: the tall steel and glass buildings around them, the heavy clouds above, the modern city below. Very modern, she thought, as she watched tiny vehicles—part car, part airplane—whiz through the gaps between the buildings. 

“This is incredible,” she said, her voice filled with excitement.

“It’s a dump,” replied the Doctor.

The TARDIS was currently on the top of an alien skyscraper in an alien city on an alien planet far in the future. At least it was far in the future for Rose. She wasn’t certain whether it was the future or the past or the present for the Doctor. To Rose’s disappointment, he rarely talked about himself, and he had never shared with her whether the time he had been born into was from her relative past or future.

Assuming he had been born at all, and hadn’t sprung fully formed from the head of Zeus, she thought, remembering a bit about ancient Greek gods. No, that was Athena, she reminded herself. She could see him as a modern Greek god, strong, powerful, and dead sexy with his steely blue eyes, strong features, broad shoulders and sexy leather jacket. But there was no way in Hades he was, or ever had been, a Greek goddess.

“I think it’s interesting,” Rose responded. “We haven’t been to too many planets. ‘S kinda grey, though.” She wrinkled her nose. “And what’s that smell?”

“The usual,” he said. “Incompletely consumed fuel resulting in hydrocarbons, oxides of nitrogen, carbon monoxide and ozone. Among other things.”

“So, smog.”

“Yep, smog,” he agreed, nodding with a proud smile for her.

“Wow. A Sucona 15B5. I used to fly one of those,” came a voice from behind them. Rose glanced over her shoulder.

Their traveling companion, Captain Jack Harkness, had emerged from the TARDIS. As usual, Jack was wearing his trademark dark trousers, white shirt, and braces with a dark blue overcoat that looked vaguely military. Like Rose, Jack was human, and with his thick, dark hair, twinkling blue eyes, and straight white teeth, he was considered very handsome by most of the people they met, both male and female, regardless of species. Although he had been brought up on a distant planet in the 51st century, he had a vaguely American accent, something Rose found just as odd as the Doctor’s Northern one. 

After pulling the TARDIS door shut, he gestured at a small ship flying just above the tops of the buildings.

“When I was in the Time Agency,” he continued, “we flew B5s all the time. Sweet ride. Interplanetary class, but can fly in the atmosphere as well. Handles beautifully in places like this. It can stop on a dime and handles turns like…”

“I flew one, too,” the Doctor interrupted. “Can stall out in conditions like this. Bad furon/hydro conversion design. High concentrations of ozone can gum up the works. Sucona fixed that problem in the later C classes. The 17Cs in particular are much better ships.”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t negate the beauty of…” Jack’s voice trailed off. He and Rose stared at the Doctor. “When did you fly one of those?” he asked.

“Been around a while,” the Doctor said absently as he scanned their surroundings. “Flown all kinds of things, me. Even raced in the Jacosic thirty million. Came in fifth.”

“That’s incredible,” Jack said, sounding more than slightly impressed. “Considering the typical number of entries in that race, that is a very nice showing.”

“I thought so.”

“Doctor,” Rose interjected, “where are we?”

“New Japan,” he answered. “The planet, not the country. Settled by humans in the year 50,003, right after a massive explosion on the sun’s surface decimated the Earth’s atmosphere, making your planet uninhabitable for centuries. Most of the population of the Earth moved out to the stars until it was safe to return, but some, like the people who settled here, never went back. 

“Right now we’re in New Tokyo, right on the edge of the south eastern quadrant of the city.” He glanced at Jack. “It’s 16 May. In the year 51,130.”

“Oh, shit,” Jack swore.

“Yeah.” The Doctor nodded ruefully. “Couldn’t have put it better myself.”

“Why? What’s wrong,” Rose asked with just a hint of nervousness creeping into her voice.

“This is the year of the morality riots,” the Doctor told her. “The government of New Japan had strict codes in regards to dress and behavior, and in the year 51,130 the people began rioting for change.” 

“Today in fact,” Jack added. “No one knows what triggered the riots, though.”

“Wanna find out?” the Doctor asked, raising one eyebrow at Jack. He had a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“Doctor, what about Rose?” Jack reminded him.

“Oh, yeah,” the Doctor said. He glanced over at Rose and frowned. “Maybe not such a good idea.”

“Why not?” Rose demanded.

“Do the words ‘jeopardy friendly’ mean anything to you?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll be fine. If I could survive Justicia, the Gelth, and hanging off a barrage balloon during the Blitz, I think I can survive this.”

“That’s what I said. Jeopardy friendly.”

Rose stared at him in a battle of wills. The Doctor’s eyes narrowed, and he stared back at her intently. She knew he was analyzing every possible outcome of them staying. She could almost hear the wheels turn in his head. Finally he sighed in resignation.

“Alright,” he said, “but don’t wander off.” This last part was accompanied by a shake of his finger at her. As Rose grinned in triumph, he returned to looking at the skyline.

She glanced down at herself. She was wearing a new, for her, t-shirt, one she had found in the TARDIS wardrobe. It was bright pink with the slogan _Someone Went to New Rome and All I Got Was This Lousy Tee Shirt_ emblazoned in dark blue across the chest. She had paired it with her pink hoody, jeans and white trainers.

“If they have a strict dress code, am I alright wearing this?” she asked.

“You’re fine,” the Doctor answered, not even glancing in her direction.

“You look lovely as always,” Jack said with a wink at her.

“Thanks,” responded the Doctor. “‘S a new jumper. Thought it brought out the color of my eyes.”

Rose rolled her eyes again. Every time Jack tried to compliment her, the Doctor jumped in and intercepted it. She didn’t protest anymore, though, mostly because she strongly suspected the Doctor was demonstrating a jealous streak. And she kinda liked it.

On the other side of the TARDIS they found a locked door that led into the building. The Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver out of the inside pocket of his leather jacket and pointed it at the lock. The screwdriver whirred and its tip lit up in blue. With a loud click, the lock disengaged.

After stowing his sonic back in his pocket, the Doctor automatically took Rose’s hand. Then he flashed her a manic grin.

“Let’s go and investigate a riot.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

As they descended the short flight of stairs from the roof to the top floor it quickly became apparent that the building was deserted. In fact, it appeared to still be under construction. The walls had been framed out and electrical wiring and plumbing already installed, but the drywall—or whatever its equivalent was in the year 50,000—had yet to be put up.

“We’re not going to have to walk all the way down, are we?” Jack groaned. “We’re what, fifty stories up?”

“Nah,” replied the Doctor. “With this many stories, there’ll already be a lift.”

“But there’s no guarantee it’ll be working when the building’s empty.”

“Sure there is.” The Doctor grinned and pulled his sonic screwdriver out of his pocket again. “Dead useful, this is. Much better than a sonic blaster.”

“Depends on the situation,” Jack countered. “Didn’t help much in 1941.”

It was an old argument and although it was good-natured, Rose wanted to stay out of it. They both had their points. The blaster had been much more useful in saving their lives in 1941, but it wouldn’t be much help in getting a lift to work. But even if Jack was right, she really didn’t want to side with him against the Doctor. In a choice between the two, she knew exactly whose side she’d be on, and in everything, not just over the usefulness of the sonic. _Better with two_ , she’d once told him. Now only if he’d believe it…

_Stop it_ , she told herself firmly. The Doctor was her best friend. But her thoughts about him had become quite interesting ever since talking about dancing with him in Albion Hospital in 1941. More like fantasies, really, now that she realized he wasn’t quite as asexual as she had originally thought.

Who was she kidding? She'd had fantasies about him since _before_ he'd invited her to travel with him in the TARDIS. And deep down she had always known he wasn’t as asexual as he acted around her. She’d just thought he wasn’t interested in her that way, guessing his feelings towards her were more fatherly than anything else.

But now, between his minor jealousies and the way he looked at her when he thought she wasn’t looking, she wasn’t sure about that anymore. Not to mention there was his comment about showing her his moves—followed by his dancing with her in the TARDIS. Although it was only literal dancing, not metaphorical. And she was more than slightly disappointed about that.

They found the lift, and, with the aid of the Doctor’s sonic, they quickly made it to the ground floor and out onto a quiet street. Not only were there no signs of a riot, there didn’t seem to be anything of interest going on at all. But at least the air smelled cleaner there than it had on the roof, Rose noticed in relief.

“Do you know where the riots actually started?” Jack asked.

The Doctor shook his head. “Nope. Just that they started in this general area. Somewhere within a six block radius from here, I think.”

“We should split up, cover more area that way,” Jack suggested.

The Doctor shrugged. “‘S alright with me. You have any objections, Rose?”

“Not me,” she said. 

“Well then, I’ll head this way,” Jack pointed up the street, “and you two head that way.”

Jack walked off in the direction he had indicated, but not without glancing at the people, and aliens, around him with more than casual interest.

“He’ll never change,” Rose said.

“Would you want him to?” the Doctor asked.

“Nah,” she said. “Cos then he wouldn’t be Jack. And the universe would be a much poorer place without Captain Jack.”

The Doctor gave her a sharp look.

“Don’t cha think?” she asked innocently.

He tightened his grip on her hand possessively and didn’t answer—pointedly, Rose thought. She grinned.

“Let’s get going,” he said gruffly, and as they headed down the pavement, they automatically fell in step. 

“Why were you so quick to let Jack go off on his own?” she asked.

“Do you really think I could’ve stopped him?”

“Well, no,” she admitted. “But you didn’t even protest.”

“No, I didn’t,” he said.

“Why?”

“You really want to know?”

“Wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t,” she told him.

“Causality loop,” he said.

“What?”

“Causality loop.” He looked at her with one eyebrow raised. “The riot was in response to restrictive laws regarding behavior and dress codes. Who do you know who could inspire a riot against behavior and dress codes just by his mere presence?”

Rose’s eyes widened. “But, but, wouldn’t that bring the reapers or something?”

“Not if he was the one who started the riots in the first place. And if he did, the _last_ place I want to be is with him.”

“Shouldn’t we try to stop him?” she asked.

“Nope. The riots happened. They are history. In fact, after the riots, the government becomes much less restrictive across the board not only in regards to personal behavior, but also in trade, tourism, immigration… ushers in a golden age on this planet that lasts a thousand years. And I don’t know that Jack causes them, just seems likely, especially because the TARDIS herself landed us here. I was aiming for Selious 4.”

“So the TARDIS brought us here, and Jack’s investigating the riots, riots he might have caused himself?” Rose asked.

“Welcome to time travel.” 

 

Jack wandered around the neighborhood looking for any possible signs of something that could trigger a riot. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. There _were_ quite a few women, and not a few men, who gave him long, lingering looks, looks he returned with a wink, but although any one of them would have been interesting to get to know, he wasn’t stupid enough to try and pick up someone on the street. Not on this planet. And despite the excuse of trying to investigate the cause of the coming riot, he was really just trying to give the Doctor and Rose a little time alone. The sexual tension between them was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and since they weren’t doing anything to relieve it, it was tough to be around them sometimes. He didn’t know how they could stand it. 

It had occurred to him more than once that maybe the reason they weren’t doing anything to relieve the tension between them was because he was around all the time. And he really didn’t want to be a third wheel. A third participant maybe, but not a third wheel.

With those thoughts in his mind, he realized he _really_ needed to blow off a little steam. But not yet. If he wasn’t careful, he could end up starting the riot himself. Maybe later, he thought. After the riot. Or maybe during. He wasn’t picky.

 

As they walked down the street hand-in-hand, Rose stared at the city around her. To her disappointment it didn’t look alien at all. It just looked like a city. The road they were currently on was lined with all sorts of shops, pubs, and cafés: _The Bad Wolf Boutique, The Home of The Samurai Bar and Grill, The Lotus Blossom,_ and dozens of others. In fact, with the neon signs and the pavement and the stoplights, they could even have been in the 21st century. That is, if you didn’t look at the flying cars.

After they had gone several blocks, Rose noticed a number of people looking at them curiously. Oh, no one stared, not openly at any rate. Even in her time that was considered rude, and she was positive it was here as well. Instead they’d receive quick glances from people as they walked past them on the pavement, glances that would cause a flurry of whispering among some and cause others to look away, pretending not to have seen them.

Initially she assumed the odd looks were due to how casually she and the Doctor were dressed. After all, most of the people they passed, both men and women, were dressed in conservative business suits that would have fit in on the streets of London in her time. A sizable minority were even wearing traditional kimonos, bringing bright splashes of color to the otherwise drab street. She was surprised at how many of those she saw, given how far in the future they were, but then she reminded herself she shouldn’t be surprised by anything while traveling with the Doctor. After a few moments, however, she decided it couldn’t be their clothes. There were lots of others dressed just as casually as they were, some even more so, and they weren’t being stared at.

She turned to the Doctor to ask him about it but then noticed that the scent of cooking food had replaced the stench of the pollution in the air. Her stomach grumbled noisily.

“Hungry, are you?” the Doctor asked in amusement.

“I could eat,” she said, not rising to the bait.

“So could I,” he admitted. “Got to warn you, though, there are no chips in New Tokyo. Think you’ll live?”

“Dunno. Let’s find out,” she said, grinning at him.

Letting go of his hand, she linked arms with him, and they headed to the nearest restaurant.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

After an hour of sitting in a pub called The Green Pagoda—which was just down the street from where he had separated from the Doctor and Rose—Jack Harkness was getting bored. In that time he’d had three sakes, and although the warmed rice wine was stronger than he remembered sake being, three were far less than he would have to drink in order to get drunk. Which was a good thing—he’d have to keep his head if there was going to be a riot.

He’d also spent the time flirting, first with the bartender and then with three others, one for each sake he’d had. The bartender was of a species he didn’t recognize—green with cactus-like needles covering his body—but he seemed receptive, and in Jack’s opinion the needles just made him more interesting.

He ordered another drink, a whiskey this time, and the glass the bartender placed in front of him was filled with a steaming liquid that glowed a brilliant chartreuse. Inwardly shrugging—he was always up for something new—Jack took a sip. It was sharp, more than slightly dry, with a bitter aftertaste reminiscent of burnt walnuts that burned both his sinuses and the back of his throat. It wasn’t as bad as some of the drinks he’d had in the past, and it was thankfully stronger than the sake, so he took a long swallow.

Followed by a huge gulp of water from a glass the bartender passed to him.

“Not bad,” he said after he had recovered somewhat. The bartender winked at him.

As he took another swallow of the water, a beautiful young woman sat down next to him. She was clad in a scarlet kimono hand-embroidered in a complex pattern of soaring white cranes and golden starburst flowers. Her long black hair was swept up into an ancient style and held in place with chopsticks the same color as her robe. Jack glanced at her, and she smiled shyly at him. 

Encouraged, he turned to face her. He flashed her a wide grin.

“Hi, I’m Jack Harkness,” he said. “Can I buy you a drink? By the way, I _love_ your kimono…”

 

 

The Doctor and Rose sat on pillows at a low table, eating what passed for traditional Japanese fare in New Tokyo.

“Now this looks like rice,” he said, pointing at the contents of a bowl with his chopsticks, “but it’s not the kind of rice you’d ever have gotten on your planet. It’s actually closer to triticale, which is a hybrid of wheat and rye. And the sashimi comes from an aquatic creature native to this planet.”

Rose used her chopsticks to lift a piece of the sashimi to her mouth. She nodded approvingly at the taste.

“Not bad,” she said.

The Doctor smiled at her proudly. So many of his previous companions would have turned up their noses at unfamiliar foods, but not Rose. She was always up for anything he suggested, whether it was exploring a new planet, trying new foods, or investigating trouble. Clever, compassionate and completely fantastic, that was his Rose.

Oops. Where did that thought come from? She was his best friend, but she wasn’t _his_. Not like that. And why was he thinking of her that way? That was a line he did not cross. Nope, no way, no how, no matter how beautiful she was. And she was very beautiful, especially with her hair like that, hanging down around her shoulders….

Oops again. He picked up his drink and took a sip to break his train of thought. As they were having a traditional Japanese meal, he had ordered sake, but for some reason he hadn’t noticed how strong it was until now.

Rose lifted her tiny cup to her lips and took a sip. “This is really good,” she said. 

“Best be careful with that,” he warned her. “It’s stronger than I thought it would be.”

She rolled her eyes. “Shareen and I used to drink tons of stuff a lot stronger than this,” she said. “Besides, it’s not like I’ve had all that much. I’m fine.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “If you say so.”

 

 

Jack glanced at the clock behind the bar. 17:00. The riot had to be starting soon. And as much as the Doctor had said he wanted to find out what had caused it, neither of them wanted Rose to get caught in the middle of it. It was time to find them. After an apology to his companion, he downed the rest of his drink and headed out the door.

 

 

The Doctor paid the bill, and they made their way out to the street. Rose seemed a bit unsteady on her feet so he wrapped an arm around her, not noticing the stares the two of them were receiving.

“Let’s get you back to the TARDIS,” he said to her. “You seem to be having trouble walking.”

“‘S just because my leg fell asleep while we were sitting on the floor,” she told him. She shook it a little to try to get the circulation back in it. From the look he was giving her, she could tell he didn’t believe her.

“If you say so,” he said.

“I do say so. Besides, what about investigating the riot?” she asked.

“We’ll let Jack do that,” he told her.

Rose snorted. “Hard to investigate a riot when you’re busy causing it.” As he laughed, she grinned at him. 

Her smile faded as she stared at him thoughtfully. He had been kidding earlier, but his jumper really did bring out the color of his eyes.

“Y’know, Doctor, you have the most beautiful eyes,” she told him. 

He raised his eyebrows at her comment. “That’s the sake talking.”

“Nope,” she answered. “I’ve always thought that. They are the most incredible shade of blue. And you have a wonderful voice, too.”

“Even though I sound like I’m from the North?” he asked in amusement.

“Even though you sound like you’re from the North.” Her eyes drifted to his mouth. “And you have the most beautiful lips.”

“Rose,” he said warningly.

“You do, you know. In fact, you’re absolutely gorgeous, and the best part is you’re not a bit conceited. In fact, you don’t even realize how gorgeous you are.”

“Now I _know_ you’re drunk, _and_ we need to get your eyes checked on top of it.”

Rose shook her head. “I’m not drunk. And my eyes are fine. You shouldn’t put yourself down like that. I think you are… absolutely fantastic.”

He stared at her. They were in dangerous territory, territory they had been dancing around ever since they had danced in the TARDIS console room. And now that she had brought it out in the open between them, he wasn’t exactly sure what to do about it. Oh, he knew what he should do….

She took a step closer to him. 

“Rose,” he said again. This time it came out as a plea, but he wasn’t sure if it was for her to stop or to continue.

“I want you to remember something,” she said. “I am not drunk. I am doing something I’ve wanted to do for a long time—the sake just made me brave enough to do it.” She stared into his eyes as she took another step closer to him. She grabbed the lapels of his leather jacket to steady herself, stood on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips.

“Rose Tyler,” he said, staring at her as if she were a puzzle he couldn’t quite figure out. He took a deep breath and let it out in a rush. “Oh, hell,” he said. 

Before he could stop himself, he pulled her into his arms, bent his head to hers and kissed her back, both of them unaware a crowd was gathering around them.

 

 

From the other end of the street, Jack saw the crowd gathering.

“Looks like it’s starting,” he said to himself. “Wonder what’s causing it.” Knowing that that was the direction the Doctor and Rose had headed, he took off at a jog to try to find them.

As he neared the crowd, he started calling them.

“Doctor! Rose!” he yelled.

 

 

The Doctor and Rose broke apart, startled to find themselves surrounded by people applauding. They blinked at the flashes made by the dozens of cameras pointed at them.

Jack’s voice cut through the crowd. “Doctor! Rose!” 

“Jack, we’re over here,” the Doctor called back.

Jack pushed his way through the crowd to find that Rose was in the Doctor’s arms. He grinned. 

“I’m not even gonna ask,” he said, chuckling. “But I think we need to get going.” He pointed to a camera on the corner of a nearby building. It was pointed in their direction. “CCTV.”

The Doctor groaned. “That means the authorities are gonna be here any minute now.”

“What?” Rose asked. “What’s going on? And why are all those people taking pictures of us?”

“Remember when we were talking about the government having very strict codes of conduct?” Jack asked. Rose nodded. “Well, that means no public displays of affection.” He chuckled. “If we don’t get out of here right now, the two of you are going to get arrested.” 

“What!” Rose cried in astonishment. She began to giggle.

“C’mon,” the Doctor said gruffly. He grabbed Rose’s hand and pulled her through the crowd, some of whom had begun to display their own affection for each other.

By now the crowd had grown so large that the way back to the TARDIS was blocked. Police sirens wailed in the distance. The Doctor swore under his breath. 

“We’ve got to get outa here,” he said. Rose tugged on his jacket.

“Doctor, we’ve lost Jack,” she said urgently.

“Jack can take care of himself. Besides, they’re not looking for him, they’re looking for us.” He scanned the area, looking for a way to escape. “Okay, I think I spotted something.” He pushed through the crowd again and pulled her into a narrow alleyway between two tall buildings. 

“I don’t think anyone noticed us coming in here,” he told her. “We should be safe for the moment. Too bad this alley’s blocked off at the other end. We’re gonna have to wait for the crowds to die down before we can get out of here and go back to the TARDIS.” He leaned against the side of the building and looked at her. She was trying—unsuccessfully—not to laugh. “What?”

“You know what this means, don’t you?” she asked. “It means that Jack didn’t cause the riot at all. We did.” 

The Doctor chuckled. “That we did,” he said, grinning. “And as long as they already want to arrest us….” He jerked his head at her. “C’mere.” 

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her again, this time slowly and deeply.

“Well, look at the two of you,” Jack said from the entrance to the alley, and they broke apart, the Doctor looking mildly sheepish, Rose with a pleased-as-punch look on her face. Jack shook his head. “Doctor, when you finally decide to snog her, you pick the most repressed planet in the quadrant to do it _and_ manage to start a riot in the process to boot.” He grinned. “I’m so proud of you.”

Rose burst out laughing. The Doctor rolled his eyes. 

“You forgot where you were, didn’t you?” Jack asked, raising his eyebrows and smirking. The Doctor’s mouth twisted in an effort not to grin.

“How does it look out there?” he asked.

Jack laughed. “Seems the reports of a riot were a bit exaggerated,” he said as he walked towards them. “Feels more like a block party. The street is jam-packed with people. Someone started piping music into the street from somewhere, and a whole bunch of people started dancing. One of the local restaurants is even selling food out there. The cops are out there looking for you two, though.”

“I’ve got to get Rose out of here and back to the TARDIS,” the Doctor told him. “I really don’t want to have her get arrested again. We’re going to need you to create a diversion.”

“Well, all right,” Jack said. “But you’re gonna have to carry them back to the TARDIS.”

“Carry what back?” the Doctor asked. 

Jack threw his coat at him, hitting him square in the chest. Jack then toed off his boots, pulled his braces off over his shoulders and started unbuttoning his shirt. 

“What are you doing?” the Doctor demanded.

“You said to create a diversion,” he replied with a cheeky grin.

Rose laughed as Jack tossed the Doctor his shirt and vest. As he started to unbutton his trousers, she vaguely wondered what type of pants he wore under them.

Oh.

The answer was none.

“I’ll meet you back at the TARDIS,” he told them. “But if I’m not back by morning, you may need to bail me out of jail.” He tossed his trousers to the Doctor, who neatly caught them. “No rush. I figure the two of you could use a little time alone. Besides, one of the cops out there is kinda cute.” He crossed back to the entrance of the alley. “Rose, be gentle with him.” He winked at her, and she grinned back. “Have fun, you two.”

After he ran back out of the alley, the sounds of shrieks, laughter, applause, catcalls and wolf whistles filtered in from the street.

Rose turned to the Doctor as he wrapped Jack’s clothes and boots into a tidy bundle.

“Y’know,” she said, “I never used to believe half the stories he told. Now I think I do.”

“The diversion he created isn’t gonna distract them for long,” the Doctor said. He tucked the bundle of Jack’s clothes under his left arm. “We’ve gotta take advantage of it while we can.” He took her left hand in his right and gave her a manic grin.

“Run!”


End file.
